


A Hitch

by Breadcrumbz



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Adventure, Bromance, Bruce Banner and Tony Stark Friendship, Drama, Friendship, Gen, Hitchhiking, M/M, Role Reversal, Science Bros, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-12
Updated: 2013-01-12
Packaged: 2017-11-25 06:45:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/636204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Breadcrumbz/pseuds/Breadcrumbz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony Stark didn't realise hitch-hiking actually existed until he was forced to hit the road with a cynical and reluctant Bruce Banner. Not only is living without the luxuries of home not remotely pleasant, but having to avoid a mysterious organisation which threatens his life too? That definitely wasn't pleasant. Uncovering the truth behind his situation, the pair discover a plan that will ultimately determine the fate of all superheroes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Hitch

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a series of comics by popcornillustration on tumblr.

“Sir, there appears to be a security breach on th--”

  
That was the last time Tony Stark heard JARVIS’ voice for the next six months. The whole thing seemed like a bad dream. He’d fallen asleep in his workshop, as usual, and the next thing he could remember was the whole building shaking. Earthquakes in New York weren’t uncommon, and Stark Tower had been designed to withstand them, but usually the earthquakes were caused by a green rage monster or an enormous killer robot or an explo--  
  
The ceiling erupted in fire, sending pieces of debris hurtling down onto all of Tony’s equipment. It wasn’t the expense of the equipment which made him register the fact the debris ruined everything, it was just that Tony knew he’d have to replace it once the excitement was over and that tended to be time-consuming and tedious. Explosions always tended to be less fun than they seemed.  
  
At least Tony had figured out why his tower was shaking this time round. An explosion. Inside the tower. After being knocked off his feet, and carefully making sure he didn’t breathe in too many cinders because that _hurt_  damn it, Tony realised the tower was under attack.  That was just great. Attack Iron Man in his own home with his numerous suits and technology. It really wasn’t the brightest of ideas and Tony just knew he’d have to replace more of his belongings. Again.  
  
“JARVIS, power up the Mark IX.” Dusting himself off, it took a moment to realise JARVIS hadn’t responded to him and another moment after that to realise that the only thing travelling towards him at that current time was Pepper Potts; not his suit. Why the hell wasn’t his suit coming? The livid look on Pepper’s face said this was _bad_.  
  
Not in the mood to listen to Pepper complain about him being hurt and in danger, when really the only thing wrong was that he couldn’t get the drywall off of his favourite shirt, Tony tuned her out. It was a skill that had taken years to develop but had proven to be invaluable - granting him significantly longer periods of thinking time in the day. Now, why on Earth wasn’t his suit here yet? “JARVIS? I could really use my suit right about now.” He called out to make his point.  
  
Another explosion wracked the building, this time towards the base of the tower, and suddenly Tony could hear Pepper's shrieking. Probably because she slapped him hard in the face. “God damn it, Tony!” She screamed, her makeup smudged from how distressed she was and how quickly she made her way down to Tony’s lab after the first explosion. “The suits won’t come! They’ve shut down everything! We have to get out of here, you _idiot!”_ Tony didn’t appreciate being called an idiot, but he understood her sense of urgency. He needed a suit though – maybe he could use one of the earlier prototypes which didn’t rely on JARVIS to operate? That one would still work. Before he could check, however, several men blasted through the door to his workshop (which puzzled Tony, as those doors were made of a new vibranium-like alloy he'd developed himself) and entered wearing... wearing...  
  
“Those are _my_ suits!!” Tony screeched furiously, taking a step forward to demand them back immediately because _nobody_ took Tony’s tech, _especially_ not the suits, but Pepper jerked his arm back and pulled him out of the way of another repulsor blast. It seemed like they didn’t want to talk. Under the cover of fire, the pair managed to slip out to the emergency exit at the back of the room. They had to follow the stairwell down _every floor_ (ok, that was a lie but he was still exhausted by the end of it) before they could use one of the hidden escape routes Tony was suddenly glad he allowed Pepper to talk him into building. This had to be some kind of bad dream, right? How could they get past JARVIS’ defences? How could they disable JARVIS?  
  
For one of the first times since becoming Iron Man, Tony Stark genuinely felt afraid. He was completely defenceless like this and god damn it, they were using his own technology against him – hadn’t Iron Man been developed to prevent that from happening? By the time Pepper (who had taken her heels off a while ago) and him pushed open the door to the escape passage, he had a feeling things were only going to get much, much worse. For starters, where would they even go next? He’d been chased out of his own home.

…

  
“What the hell were you thinking, Tony?!” Pepper shouted once they were ‘secure’ in a small apartment in Brooklyn, which just so happened to belong to one Steven Rogers who had left the room to get some refreshments for his ‘guests’. Also to get out of the way of Pepper’s shouting, Tony figured. The living room was small, the navy carpet was worn out from years of shoes walking on it, and the fawn walls weren’t the slightest bit tranquil. There was a TV in the far corner – it looked like a relic – but Tony knew it was unused from the simple fact it hadn’t even been set up correctly. But really, with the crappy image quality he didn’t blame Steve for not bothering to watch it. Although it would probably be overwhelming to the man who was older than said television.  
  
He didn’t know how Steve could live in a place like this, especially when Tony had offered to house the team. No one had decided to come live with him, of course they wouldn’t. Barton and Romanoff were off being super secret spies, Thor was on another planet or dimension or whatever being a god, and Banner was fuck-knows-where being a self-hating prick. Everyone had their excuses, no matter how crappy Tony thought they were. All except for Steve, who lived ten miles away. Ten _miles_ away. It hadn’t taken them more than an hour to get there, considering traffic (and when the taxi driver realised who Tony was, he drove slowly on purpose in order to talk at him for longer and maybe, just maybe, get a more expensive tip). It was even quicker taking the subway, but Tony would not survive a subway because A) there were too many people who would just gawk at him, and B) Tony was convinced the subway would smell like armpit.  
  
Really, it was obvious that the only reason Steve didn’t want to live with him was because he didn’t want to be around him. So yeah. Tony didn’t really want to be around Steve, either, but right now things weren’t going his way.  
  
“They had my suits, Pep! My _suits!_ Do you have any idea what could happen if some morons are out there ruining my image? I had to stop them--”  
  
“Yes, stop them – not walk into the shooting range!! Why the hell--”  
  
“—before they did anything stupid and ruined all my work--”  
  
“—did you do that?! They’re just suits, Tony, you could have died!”  
  
“—and you know how long I, what? _Just_ suits? Pepper are you crazy?!”  
  
They kept at this, shouting at one-another without even listening to what the other was saying, for around twenty minutes before Steve came in and politely caught their attention with a brief cough into a closed fist.  
  
“My neighbours were wondering if you could keep it down a little. I know it’s been an eventful night, but shouting is not going to help and this might be how you work through these things, I don’t know, but my walls aren’t soundproof here.” Steve remarked, not sounding the slightest bit annoyed by the fact he’d had a complaint about the noise or that he’d been forced to hide in his cramped kitchen. Tony scoffed and turned away, folding his arms. He had offered Steve to live with him, so screw thin walls. To him, he’d won the argument with Pepper and she knew Tony was thinking along those lines, if the shake of her head meant anything. She then smiled at Steve apologetically, the only trace that she had been worked-up was her slightly less than perfect hair and makeup. Wow. Fire-breathing dragon to calm and collected CEO in three seconds. Tony was amazed - that was a new record.  
  
“My apologies, Mr Rogers. You know what Tony’s like – I just got a little frustrated.” Tony wasn’t listening and made a point of that by slouching in the disgusting tweed armchair he'd sulked into after Steve interrupted. Why would anyone use tweed as a fabric for seating? It was itchy and Tony couldn’t get comfortable in it.  
  
“No problem, Ms Potts.” He said with his goody-goody smile that made Tony feel sick, whilst he placed down a tray of refreshments. Jesus. Who served OJ as a drink to their guests? How old was this guy? Pepper, always polite, took her glass and Tony just ignored it entirely, continuing to pretend he wasn’t there. “So... What’re your plans now? S.H.I.E.L.D already knows about the threat, which is no surprise. The group’s known as INTRON.” He said, ignoring Tony’s sulk and relaying all the information to Pepper seeing as she was the only one willing to cooperate. “They’re thieves, basically. They never leave a hit without stealing all the technology there. At first, they were for-hire but recently they’ve been headed by a man named Nathan Orion and their hits have been more directed.” Tony was sick of listening to this drivel; he wanted to know how they’d managed to hack into his systems. That had been puzzling him since it happened.  
  
“That’s all great, well done for knowing so much, I’ll give you your star later, but would you mind telling me how they got _my_ tech? How they broke in and stole from _me?_ Because, really, that’s not something anyone can do. No one can hack JARVIS.” That was the thought that pissed Tony off the most. Almost as much as the fact he knew Steve wouldn’t be provoked by his words. The man was nothing but a lousy goody-two-shoes in Tony’s eyes.  
  
“I was getting to that part. Have you heard his name before?” Steve asked, causing Tony to roll his eyes wearily.  
  
“No. I haven’t. I take over his company or something and now he’s out to get me? Because that’s not the first time it’s happened.” Tony snapped, resisting the urge to kick the table in front of him. Steve was talking as though he were a child and doing that would just make him look like one, which would cause more trouble than necessary and a lecture from Pepper. It didn’t help that he had no suits, as that made him feel... insignificant. Pepper was thankfully staying out of it, but he could see some amusement in her eyes. Or maybe that was pity. Both emotions were as bad as each other.  
  
“I don’t know why, but he certainly has a thing against you. Their recent hits have been preparing for this strike on Stark Tower, only they weren’t just aiming to take your suits...” Well, that made Pepper’s face twist into worry and Tony felt like punching Steve in his star-spangled face for causing that. How could Steve be so blunt about it?  
  
“Ok, so they were out to kill me. Fine. They clearly failed. Next question. If S.H.I.E.L.D. knows so goddamn much about this, why haven’t they been bothered to get off their asses and, you know, tell me about it? That way I could have defended myself and I wouldn’t have to be here right now and they wouldn't have my suits.” Tony was glaring fiercely but Steve simply shook his head. He knew Tony wouldn’t have taken this seriously but he had hoped he would’ve been willing to cooperate with them. Part of him knew Tony wouldn’t let S.H.I.E.L.D. take him to a safe-house like planned, and sit there until it all blew over. The man wanted revenge. It was almost impossible to talk people out of revenge, especially when their pride was on the line.  
  
“Alright then. So what’s your next move? Without your suits, I’m not sure you're capable.” Steve hadn’t intended to sound so cruel, for once he hadn’t, but he didn’t know how else to talk Tony out of his suicide mission. He also hadn’t intended for Tony to stand up and bound towards him...although now that he thought about it, he should have expected that. It’s what Tony did when he felt threatened.  
  
“I don’t know, Captain Fancy-pants, but I sure as hell ain’t waiting around while they come to kill me with my own suits.” Steve nodded slowly recognizing the determination in his eyes, and Tony stepped back a little – happy that he wasn’t going to have anyone try and stop him. He started to shoot Pepper a smug smile, but she wasn’t sat in her seat anymore. When had she left? He didn’t know but he didn’t like the idea of being stuck with Rogers on his own when he was being so patronizing. The man hadn’t argued because it was obvious Tony wasn’t going to back down, which was aggravating as Tony wanted to let off some steam.  
  
“You can’t exactly walk up to them without knowing anything about them, though. We don’t even know where they’re hauled up and they’re out looking for you.” Steve argued, snapping Tony out of his previous thoughts.  
  
“Well I’ll go undercover then.” Tony replied automatically. At that, Steve let out a laugh but quickly apologised for it from the look Tony was sending him. The apology didn’t work, though, as the damage was done and Tony was thoroughly insulted, his face curling into a sneer. “What?! I can be covert!”  
  
“Sure you can.” Steve drawled, some amusement to his voice. After all, it wasn’t every day you could have the upperhand on Tony Stark. “Remember that last mission? We were ordered to be covert and you started flying and blasting people. I’m not sure you understand the meaning of ‘covert’.”  
  
“Hello? I’m the genius here. Of course I know what covert means.” Tony mumbled, sitting down again and going back to his not-sulking.  
  
“You don’t act like you know.”  
  
Tony let out a derisive snort. “Yeah. Because it’s pointless to act that way when I have my suit.”  
  
“And my point is proved – you don’t know how to be covert.” Steve said triumphantly, and Tony looked as though he’d been personally victimised by his own words. He sighed and shoved his hands into his pockets, sinking lower into the chair. The two remained like that in silence for a moment, wondering how they’d get around the fact Tony had no experience on covert operations as the option of a safehouse was long out of the window. He could have an agent to guide him from S.H.I.E.L.D. but who would willingly work with Tony Stark? Especially if people were looking for him. S.H.I.E.L.D. wouldn’t help anyway. Natasha and Clint were likely to be busy, too, so they couldn’t do anything.  
  
“Maybe we could hire a mercenary to be your guide?” Steve questioned, and Tony looked at him as though he’d just wondered if Pi could be eaten. Steve sighed in defeat, folding his arms across his chest. “What’s wrong with that?”  
  
“Um, hello? Mercenaries work for _money_. I’m not trusting my life to someone who would kill me just as easily if someone else managed to pay them more. No way.” Tony ran a hand through his hair. This was difficult. “Whoever it is has to be able to blend in well as the whole world knows who I am.”  
  
“And they’ll have to be able to put up with you for a quite a while.” Steve ignored the leer Tony sent his way for that comment. “And they’d have to be prepared for a tonne of danger if they find you, too.”  
  
The silence returned as suggestions and ideas whizzed around their brains, Steve actively scrapping ideas with the occasional shake of his head as he paced the room. Tony sat in silence, staring into nothingness and so they remained for at least half an hour. Pepper had even returned from wherever she went, not speaking as she didn’t want to interrupt the moment of silence. All of a sudden, Tony’s eyes widened with the perfect idea. He let out a gasp of excitement which caused Pepper to jump from the unexpected noise. Steve looked at him and, as though he had just read the words in his eyes, started smiling too. That was it. That was who they could ask.  
  
“Banner.” They both said in unison and Pepper’s face fell in horror as if they were making a sick joke. The man had the patience of a saint, was used to danger by now and S.H.I.E.L.D. had barely managed to keep an eye on him over the years. Whenever Banner was off-radar, they tended to freak if Clint wasn’t making up stories. Also, Steve could picture Banner as one of the few people that could keep Tony on a leash. If he could keep the Hulk under control 24/7, then he could easily deal with one annoying billionaire. Plus, they got along. Kind of.  Steve wasn’t exactly sure, but he guessed if Tony suggested it too then the pair did get along to some degree, what with their weird science lingo.  
  
The only issue now was whether Bruce Banner would agree to it or not, once you got past the issue of contacting him. Pepper didn’t like the idea one bit. She hadn’t gotten a chance to speak to Banner properly like the other Avengers, but he _had_ spent most of his time skulking out of the way of the others. Tony had talked about him positively, sure, but the man didn’t seem... safe. At least not to Pepper.


End file.
